Balloon Boy Stunt Soars
October 26, 2009 • By Michael Larrick, The Breeze
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I have to hand it to you Richard and Mayumi Heene; you really got us on this one! This is definitely the prank of the year, and I doubt anyone is going to be able to top this. I thought I’d seen some pretty silly tomfoolery in my day, but this makes drawing on the face of your friend who may or may not have alcohol poisoning look elementary.
Unless you don’t own any sort of technology, I’m sure you were aware of the “balloon boy” incident that monopolized every news outlet Oct. 15. Cameras followed the homemade helium balloon for hours after the Heenes called the authorities, believing their 6-year-old son, Falcon, was inside. After it was all said and done, it turns out Falcon was just hiding in the attic. Kids these days!
After Falcon blew their cover on Larry King Live, it become evident that this event was a hoax piloted by Richard Heene and that felony charges would be brought against them. People were outraged, citing that this wasted thousands of taxpayers’ dollars, and this publicity stunt was just a tool to get the Heenes famous. Am I the only one who thinks everyone should just lighten up?
Come on people, you need to have a sense of humor about things or life is going to be a sad, straight road. You should just swallow your pride, admit they had you fooled and give them a round of applause for their efforts. You can’t honestly say you weren’t laughing when the Hennes forced the ill Falcon to appear on the “Today Show” where he vomited on national television. They can’t really be this terrible of parents!
The best part was when the balloon landed without Falcon inside, and everyone started looking for his body. If that’s not funny, I don’t know what is. You crazy Heenes and your shenanigans! LOL!
I bet you didn’t think it could get any better, but it does. An Internet game based around the event has surfaced, where you assume the role of Falcon, flying high above the world, shooting some sort of star-shaped projectile at seagulls and rainbows. In my opinion, this game was totally worth the trouble.
Like every “celebrity,” Falcon, his two brothers and his parents moved onto the music industry. They recently posted a rap video on YouTube, where they state their opposition to the term “Pussification,” which is defined in the beginning as follows: “The modern day teachings of human beings living a superficial lifestyle of consumerism, obesity and over protectiveness for themselves and their children (put them in a corner for ‘Time Out’) in an effort gain as many supporters as possible to believe that they are better than everyone else around them. The females are typically referred to as ‘Soccer moms’ while the males are referred to as ‘Pussies.’ ” At one point in the video, the boys describe a scenario where a homosexual urinates on them while up in a tree, which results in them hurling a rock at his genitalia. I didn’t even know it was possible to be homophobic before you hit puberty.
If anyone should be blamed for this event, it’s the entertainment industry. With their strict requirements that you should be talented in order to get famous, it’s no wonder the Heenes resorted to this.
It’s easy to write Richard Heene off as an insane, fame-seeking idiot, but if you dig deeper, this is the story of someone who refused to give up. So what if his stand up comedy and acting career failed, and his multiple attempts at gaining a reality show revolving around his storm chasing were rejected? You don’t lie down and die; you stage an event where it appears your youngest son has died in a freak accident and make things happen. We should all be as motivated as this.
Contact Michael Larrick at larricmh@jmu.edu
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