Darts & Pats
December 3, 2009 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “Got-Milk?” dart to the sour cream at Dukes for being more juicy than the skim milk at D-Hall.
From a girl who prefers a “dollop of Daisy” with her quesadilla.
A “way-to-brighten-up-our-night” pat to the boys who love to set off fireworks in Pheasant Run.
From the ladies down the road who would let you light our fuses any day.
A “way-to-multitask” pat to the girl texting, listening to music and reading all while on an elliptical.
From someone who is now a believer that girls are better at multitasking.
A “that’s-the-spirit” pat to Miller Hall for looking so festive.
From a psychology major who can’t help but be jolly when walking down the hall!
An “I-can-quit-any-day” dart to my boss.
From your employee who puts his grades before you, sorry!
A “thanks-for-raining-on-my-parade-even-more” dart to the two rain boot-clad puddle jumpers who splashed me on the way to class.
From a wet dog who is now even wetter.
An “I-want-my-babyback,-babyback” pat to the girl at Mrs. Greens who fully indulges in the entire container of baby corn.
From two Green’s regulars who have caught on to your obsession.
A “now-this-is-personal” dart to the “Twilight” craze for infecting my family.
From a junior who found out over break that her grandfather has read the entire “Twilight” series.
A “please-don’t-stop-the-music” pat to “Glee” for bringing my dorm together every Wednesday night to watch your show.
From the fan needing an excuse to hang out with friends.
A “don’t-be-embarrassed” pat to the cute girl who accidentally gave me a hug from behind, thinking I was one of her good friends.
From a guy who wants you to do that again.
A “let-me-be-the-one-you-call,-if-you-jump-I-won’t-let-you-fall” pat to the real men in the apartment above me who I hear listening to, and sometimes singing along with, ’90s love songs.
From a girl in the apartment below you who still loves Savage Garden too!
A “she-take-my-money,-well-I’m-in-need,-yeah-she’s-a-triflin’-friend-indeed” dart to Nancy Pelosi who in five months managed to spend $2,993 in taxpayer money on flowers for her office.
From a conservative girl who ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger, but she ain’t messin’ with no broke, broke.
A “4+1=5” dart to the elementary education program for failing to teach us a thing after five years.
From a graduate student who thought those teaching us how to teach would be able to themselves.
An “apocalypse-in-test-form” dart to whoever started finals week.
From a student who thinks five cumulative exams in two days is absurd.
A “that’s-life” dart to the guys behind me in line saying how girls are the root of all evil.
From a girl who knows the feeling, in reverse.
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As an elementary education alum, I’m tickled with the insight that the program doesn’t teach anyone anything…it’s very very true. My experience with the program was that we got together, talked about our feelings about education, did some group projects, listened to as many “special” presenters as we could (so the professor didn’t need to be there), and then did a final paper. Almost all of us got As; as far as I can tell, almost all of us are in professions other than teaching.
I want my 20k back.