Darts & Pats
January 19, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “you-need-to-fall-down-a-well” dart to Snookie from the “Jersey Shore.”
From everyone.
A “gutter-done” pat to intramural bowling league for starting this week.
From last year’s co-rec champions who occasionally enjoy their “fat-man” sports.
A “no-wonder-the-’townies’-hate-us” dart to the students who stand in the middle of Main Street.
From a JMU student who isn’t too good for crosswalks.
An “I’ve-seen-’Avatar’-before,-it’s-called-’Pocahontas’” dart to James Cameron.
From a SMAD major who can see through awesome visual effects to see a recycled story.
A “does-learning-about-binge-drinking-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home?” dart to the girl who tossed her cookies when we both took a bathroom break from health class.
From your concerned and slightly grossed-out classmate.
A “my,-my-I-need-a-GDI-guy” dart to the frat boys that are only interested in keeping female friends who have hook-up potential to them.
From a girl who’s tired of hearing her guy friends’ disrespectful and shallow approaches to women.
A “this-isn’t-the-JMU-I-remembered” dart to my Russian history class in the dungeon of Jackson Hall.
From a junior who is used to having 26 girls and four guys, not 26 guys and four girls.
A “man-up” dart to girls who stay with mean guys.
From a nice guy at JMU.
A “who-the-hell-is-counting?” dart to my physics professor for starting the first day of class with “Well, only four more months until graduation!”
From a senior JMU addict who is dreading the day I have to wear the gown.
A “thanks-for-making-us-lose-the-game” dart to the kid who decided it was a good idea to throw a hot dog on the court during our comeback.
From the JMU Nation.
An “I-see-dead-people” pat to the ghost pants swinging on a bench outside of TDU.
From a sophomore who didn’t know Casper wore pants.
An “I’m-sorry-your-legs-are-so-feeble” dart to the senior who hates shorts.
From a junior who thinks shorts are comfy and easy to wear.
A “little-more-to-life-somewhere-else” pat to the guy I see on campus all the time, for always being sweet, polite and inadvertently catching my attention.
From an American Girl who wouldn’t mind taking it easy with you, baby.
A “thanks-for-the-music” pat to the beautiful classical music pianist in TDU.
From a student patting on the behalf of her friend.
An “obviously-you-can’t” dart to the girl who thinks she can read my mind.
From the guy who liked you.
A “please-lock-your-lockers-in-UREC” dart to the people complaining of stolen items
From a student who is tired of hearing you complain when you could have taken a simple precaution.
An “I-couldn’t-have-done-it-without-you” pat to my parents for supporting me my whole life including my out of the ordinary post-graduation plans.
From a senior who couldn’t imagine having gotten this far without your loving care and support.
A “three-firm-pats-on-the-bottom” pat to Harrisonburg and Blue Nile for hosting the Born Empty & Murphy’s Kids Tour on February 5, 2010 — we gotta keep bringing good music to town.
From a humble serpent.
An “ahh-my-eyes!” dart to the guy shopping with his two friends in Old Navy for allowing them to dress without pants.
From a fellow shopper who is now traumatized because you didn’t check to see if their leggings were see through before you left the house!
A “silence,-s’il-vous-plait” dart to my French professor who thought it would be a good idea to bring in her cute but spoiled child and let him prattle on throughout our final.
From an unhappy étudiante who barely finished her exam in time.
A “stupid-stupid-stupid” dart to myself for ever transferring from JMU.
From the previous JMU student who’s coming back from Texas.
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