Darts & Pats
January 21, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
Print This Post
Email This Post
A “grrrreat-communicating” dart to Dining Services for neglecting to mention everything would be closed all weekend.
From a fat kid who wanted his cake.
A “you’re-killing-the-Crows” dart to the D-Hall singer who butchered my favorite ’90s jam by belting out the chorus loudly and poorly.
From Mr. Jones and me.
A “stuntin’-like-my-daddy” dart to Lil’ Wayne, who I haven’t seen in ages.
From Birdman, who misses you.
An “if-you-sprinkle-when-you-tinkle-please-be-neat” dart to the drunk guy who peed down the third floor stairwell of Stone Gate on Saturday night.
From a disgusted girl who is potty-trained.
A “the-Ricola-man-is-calling” dart to the girl coughing up both of her lungs at ECL.
From a girl just trying to do her work without having to wear earplugs.
An “eff-you” dart to the word “exHibition”.
From a junior who won’t forget the day she forgot the ‘H’ during a spelling bee in 4th grade.
A “lookin’-like-a-fool-with-your-pants-on-the-ground” dart to the gentleman with the sweatpants hanging below his buttocks.
From a lady who orders you to watch the video and OBEY Larry Platt’s commandment.
A “good-for-nothing” dart to my immune system for keeping my head in the toilet all weekend.
From a recovering senior reminding you to wash your hands.
A “you’re-interested-in-the-wrong-girls” dart to the nice guys who waste all their efforts by ignoring true beauty.
From a girl who thinks it would be easier to find a guy on eHarmony.
An “are-we-in-high-school?” dart to the three female JMU staff members who made fun of my friend while he was asking a question in Grafton.
From a super senior who thinks you need to act your age, and not like 15-year-old girls.
A “git-’er-done” pat to the JMU mail service for risking their rears to deliver the mail even though it has been “icy and treacherous.”
From a former coworker who’s “been there, done that.”
A “where-would-I-be-without-you?” pat to all my friends at JMU who volunteered to help me this week on such short notice.
From a senior who was less stressed out during her grandmother’s funeral, knowing you would be there to back me up.
A “why-aren’t-you-real?” dart to Seth Cohen.
From a girl who would be your Summer in a heartbeat.
Comments
Got something to say?
Check Out New Videos!
March 4, 2010 Issue in Print
2010 Baseball & Softball Guide
