Darts & Pats
January 25, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “why-are-you-so-tempting-after-a-few-drinks?” dart to my cell phone.
From a girl who dreads reading her texts the morning after.
A “you-don’t-remember-me?” dart to myself for giving my number to a freshman on Saturday night.
From a junior girl who can now add this to her list of blackout failures.
A “good-job-in-the-playoffs-this-year” dart to the football players who still walk around campus with way too much swagger.
From a fan who wants to remind you that the majority of us prioritize tailgating over watching you play.
A “get-off-my-back” dart to my mom.
From your daughter who is sick and tired of the endless nagging.
A “way-to-stick-it-to-the-man” pat to the girl who accidentally went out the emergency exit at Hillside.
From a computer user who is glad the alarm did not go off.
An “it’s-an-unspoken-rule” dart to the girl who changed the channel from ESPN to E!.
From the people watching in the SPORTS LOUNGE.
An “is-that-better-than-the-real-thing?” dart to the kids Saturday night who thought chugging cinnamon toast crunch would be fun.
From four girls who weren’t sure if they were at a kindergarten party or in college.
A “thanks-for-spicing-it-up” pat to the half-naked boys in 5B who built a pyramid.
From the 5A Chesapeake girls who like a guy on top.
A “what-ever-happened-to-’be-a-lover-not-a-fighter’ ” dart to the boys walking around campus this week with busted lips and black eyes.
From your friends who are tired of you looking like Mike Tyson.
A “you-don’t-have-to-put-on-the-red-light” pat to Roxanne, the longest living fish in the world.
From your owners who are pleased to see you’ve survived your tank filled with beer after a rager the night before.
A “pre-Valentine’s Day gift” pat to the boy who handed us red roses at the Chandler Bus Stop Friday night.
From two sophomores who have a valentine already.
A “baby-don’t-hurt-me” dart to the guy blasting a Haddaway hit from his car.
From someone who knows what love is.
An “I-like-that-old-time-rock-’n’-roll” dart to the Harrisonburg radio DJs who wrongfully assume they are hilarious and play outdated tunes from the ’90s.
From a classic rock lover who is not amused.
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