Darts & Pats
January 28, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “thanks-for-making-my-rainy-day-a-lil’-more-sunny” pat to the boy who ran up the Village hill to give me my dropped JACard.
From a girl who wouldn’t mind getting caught in the rain with you again.
A “no,-we’re-not-about-to-leave” dart to the E-Hall vultures breathing down our necks as we attempt to enjoy our dessert.
From a group of girls who are sick of being forced to leave their table by your impatient rudeness.
A “you-call-that-fun?!” dart to frat parties…everywhere.
From someone who witnessed a little too much barf-age outside of an unnamed frat house last Friday.
A “you-are-a-black-hole” dart to the Pub for making me black out every time I step inside the doors.
From a girl who interpretive danced alone on stage last week.
A “get-out-of-my-apartment!” dart to the fly that won’t leave and is only here to annoy us.
From an apartment of squeamish girls who are tired of chasing their fifth roommate around.
A “thanks-for-your-patience” pat to my new baby girl.
From a JMU alum who has survived Iraq and Afghanistan but never took a class on how to change a diaper.
A “clean-my-sheets” dart to my friend who baby-sat my bed while I was gone for the weekend and told me he farted all over it.
From a girl who doesn’t appreciate a stinky bed but does appreciate honesty.
A “you-have-made-me-lazy” dart to my parking pass.
From a girl who used to take the bus and walk but now succumbs to driving everywhere.
A “my-ears-are-bleeding” dart to WXJM for the insanely loud music at Student Org. Night.
From Rihanna, who really just wants you to please stop the music.
A “breaking-my-heart” dart to The Breeze for charging me $2 to publish my “heart.”
From a junior who believes in free love.
A “bundle-up,-wear-Juicy” pat to the guy sporting purple Walmart sweatpants with JUICY written on the back in permanent marker.
From the girl who just needed a little homemade couture to brighten her day.
A “run-Forrest-run” pat to the inebriated girl who chose her feet over wheels to party hop on Friday night.
From someone who sees a future for you in drunken cross country.
A “my-arm-hurts” dart to Harrisonburg for making me donate plasma for money.
From a girl who has found no other source of income while job searching.
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