Darts & Pats

February 1, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “haha,-you-missed-me!” dart to redneck bombmakers.
From the Train.

A “you’re-really-an-adult-in-college?” dart to my suitemates who cannot seem to grasp the concept that we have to clean our own bathroom.
From a person who thinks you deserve nothing more than what you leave in the toilet.

A “where-have-you-been-all-my-life?” pat to the two Prince Charmings that pulled our stranded car up a snowy hill, so we could live happily ever after.
From three damsels in distress.

A “two-wrongs-don’t-make-a-right” dart to a SMAD faculty member who threw away my self-decorated travel mug.
From a SMAD major who knows it was wrong to have it in the lab, but getting rid of it seems completely overdramatic.

A “let’s-be-a-little-more-original” dart to all the Jersey Shore parties these last few weeks.
From Snookie.

A “shame-on-you” dart to everyone I see throwing The Breeze in the trash after they read it. Newspaper is recyclable. Seriously people…
From a recycling freak who just wants to save the world.

An “I’m-trying-to-work-out,-not-pass-out” dart to the flatulent girl next to me on the ellipticals.
From your friend, Beano!!!

A “step-it-up” dart to JMU for being so cheap and misleading us to think our concert votes actually matters. Corey Smith? Really?
From a music lover who has to travel to other colleges to see worthwhile shows.

An “in-this-case,-two-is-NOT-better-than-one” dart to the driver of the white Altima who decided to take up two parking spaces in the Warsaw parking garage by parking right over the line on Thursday.
From a fellow student who managed to find a space but thinks you’re a jerk, nevertheless.

A “love-knows-no-gender” dart to all the people staring and gawking at the two girls holding hands in ISAT Thursday morning.
From a disappointed sophomore who thought that Virginia was for lovers.

An “I’m-sorry-that-in-this-epic-battle-of-man-vs.-food, food won” pat to the guy who ate nine of his 10 pancakes at IHOP.
From the girl sitting across from you who thinks that nine is still an amazing number.

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