Darts & Pats
February 8, 2010 • By Darts & Pats,
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A “so-much-for-global-warming” dart to the never-ending blizzards hitting the Harrisonburg area.
From Punxsutawney Phil, who thinks Al Gore should just start listening to him for a change.
A “never-gonna-give-you-up” pat to the person who wrote “Rick Rolled” in the snow by Reservoir Street.
From a senior who admits you got her.
A “keep-it-in-your-own-pants” dart to the boyfriend/girlfriend duo in my class who rub the insides of each other’s legs every day.
From someone who would prefer you play pocket pool in the comfort of your own home.
A “could-you-have-picked-a-better-e-mail-provider-to-switch-to?” dart to JMU Information Technology.
From Gmail.
A “dirty-jobs” pat to the guy on Wilson Hall’s first floor who tried to save a cockroach with a piece of paper.
From a bug killer who admires your caring nature and is glad you got there first.
An “I-win” dart to the guys who broke into my apartment and stole my computer.
From a senior who was in the process of buying a new one anyway and wasn’t affected by your little stunt.
A “ta-ta-ta-today-junior” dart to the girl in my class who can’t finish a thought… or a sentence.
From your classmate who knows class would be 30 minutes shorter if it weren’t for you.
A “why-am-I-paying-for-you?” dart to JMU’s student insurance.
From a grad student who spent $600 to find out I’m allergic to my dog. Wonderful.
A “thank-you-for-being-our-savior” pat to boxed mac & cheese for always being there on snowy days.
From four roommates who are glad they stocked up before the storm.
A “why-are-you-so-good?” pat to queso.
From a girl who would bathe in you if that wasn’t weird.
A “way-to-be-immature” dart to all the people making snow penises all over campus.
From a girl who prefers the real deal.
A “$64-million-deal-and-all-we-got-was-this-dirty-lake” dart to the construction workers at Bridgeforth Stadium and their mucky trash run-off.
From the geese, ducks, fish and beavers that thought Newman Lake was dirty when only the students polluted it.
A “now-that’s-responsible” dart to Washington, D.C. for making a stupid law that girls cannot have three or more condoms without getting arrested for it.
From a health major who knows the importance of “no glove, no love.”
A “how-have-I-survived?” dart to myself for barely making it through the weekend without Jimmy Johns.
From a girl who needs to be less dependent on that freaky fast delivery.
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