Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 4, 2010
A “congratulations-to-both-Canada-and-the-United States” pat after the great gold-medal hockey game. From a hockey fan who’s proud to be a North American. A “cheaper-ain’t-always-better” dart to the JMU Health Center for handing out faulty condoms to students. From a possible baby daddy. An “I-hope-you-lose-all-your-brain-cells” dart to everyone who chills with Mary Jane. From a girl who thinks Mary Jane smells. A “comfortably-full-to-incredibly-overcrowded-in-3.5-years”... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 1, 2010
A “get-like-me” dart to E-Hall for not measuring up to my wonderful bounty. From the one, the only D-Hall. A “way-to-distract-me” dart to the picturesque mountain views from ECL. From a junior who can’t get anything done. A “zebras-don’t-change-their-stripes” dart to JMU for making second semester seniors switch to the new Live@edu e-mail system. From a senior who has a love affair with Gmail and doesn’t appreciate your interference. A “shut-up,-Snorlax” dart to my roommate... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 25, 2010
A “don’t-stand-so,-don’t-stand-so-close-to-me” dart to everyone who feels the need to be in my personal space. From a girl who learned in elementary school to give people a little elbow room. A “do-you-own-jeans?” dart to the girl who hasn’t worn anything but leggings since she was born. From a girl who has to have a toga party just for you to wear something different. A “have-my-babies” pat to Shaun White. From a girl who wants my children to be just as talented and as ginger... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 22, 2010
An “anything-but-perfect” dart to Hellhole38 for defining perfected college living as a location in the boondocks and permanently icy, snow-covered sidewalks. From a North 38 resident who was fooled by your false promises and free cookies. A “riff-raff-street-rat” pat to my boyfriend for being my own personal Aladdin. From your blonde-haired, green-eyed Jasmine. A “stop-leaving-me-passive-aggressive-notes” dart to my roommates, in response to their “I love yous” and “thanks for... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 18, 2010
A “you’re-almost-as-scary-as-the-furnace-in-`Home-Alone’” dart to my refrigerator’s creepy sounding ice maker. From a Kevin-like girl who is afraid to enter her kitchen. A “what-is-this?-a-center-for-ants?” dart to the biology professor who makes us print off PowerPoint slides with teeny words and charts. From a student who can’t read good and wants to learn to do other stuff good, too. A “stop-punching-my-face” dart to my roommate. From someone who doesn’t like the new... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 15, 2010
A “look-on-the-bright-side-once-in-a-while” dart to Negative Nancy for spreading her darkness upon so many college students. From someone who looks at the glass half full. An “oh-hai!-praise-ceiling-cat-kthxbai” pat to the LOLCat Bible for giving us words to live by and cheezburgers all in one. From all teh snowed in kittehs who liek to reed bout teh beginnens of teh Urfs and teh Nointed Cat and stuffs. An “I-don’t-think-Facebook-is-your-problem” dart to the guys in the locker room... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 12, 2010
A “you-don’t-control-me” dart to my imagination for making me think everyone’s talking about me behind my back. From that guy everyone’s talking about. A “that-pizza-wasn’t-really-worth-it” dart to PC Dukes for giving me food poisoning. From a guy who decided not to go out but still threw up at 4 a.m. A “you’re-making-me-fat” dart to the snow that makes me sit around and eat everything in my apartment. From a girl who thinks that if this snow keeps falling, she’s gonna have... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 8, 2010
A “so-much-for-global-warming” dart to the never-ending blizzards hitting the Harrisonburg area. From Punxsutawney Phil, who thinks Al Gore should just start listening to him for a change. A “never-gonna-give-you-up” pat to the person who wrote “Rick Rolled” in the snow by Reservoir Street. From a senior who admits you got her. A “keep-it-in-your-own-pants” dart to the boyfriend/girlfriend duo in my class who rub the insides of each other’s legs every day. From someone who would... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 4, 2010
A “when-I-step-on-the-scene,-y’all-know-me” pat to the girl making a statement with her awesome purple jeans. From a guy rockin’ the same look who will stop and talk next time. A “not-everyone-drives-a-snowmobile” dart to JMU. From an annoyed senior who slid down Neff Ave. after leaving class at 6:15 p.m. on Tuesday. A “wtf” dart to JMU for sending out snowplows at 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. From a hard-working student who was actually trying to get some sleep. A “we-were-just-Snookin’-for-a-good-time”... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 1, 2010
A “haha,-you-missed-me!” dart to redneck bombmakers. From the Train. A “you’re-really-an-adult-in-college?” dart to my suitemates who cannot seem to grasp the concept that we have to clean our own bathroom. From a person who thinks you deserve nothing more than what you leave in the toilet. A “where-have-you-been-all-my-life?” pat to the two Prince Charmings that pulled our stranded car up a snowy hill, so we could live happily ever after. From three damsels in distress. A “two-wrongs-don’t-make-a-right”... Read more »
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March 4, 2010 Issue in Print
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