Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 28, 2010
A “no-thank-you” dart to Top Dog for putting hair in my food twice this week. From a student not very fond of your new topping. A “fulfilling-the-Quad-stereotype” dart to the kid belting out “Wonderwall.” From a guy who doesn’t need to play lame songs on his acoustic guitar to get laid. An “I-don’t-care-if-you’re-late-for-class” dart to the girl who almost killed me by illegally turning right on red while I was on the crosswalk. From someone who leaves plenty of time... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 25, 2010
A “way-to-be-lazy-girls” dart to the lacrosse players who park in a handicap space behind Garber every day. From someone who thinks you look healthy enough to walk like the rest of us. A “stupefy!” pat to Harry Potter Weekend. From a girl who doesn’t mind that she will have to pull an all-nighter to get all of her work done. A “what-the-%$#*?!” dart to the Kansas basketball team’s epic fail. From disappointed bracketeers everywhere. A “thanks-for-saving-the-day-when-I-didn’t-even-know-it”... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 22, 2010
A “pre-emptive” dart to all the girls who are about to don their bikinis and lay out on the Quad. From someone who knows the only appropriate time to wear your bikini in public is at a beauty pageant or on the beach. A “chivalry-still-exists” pat to the JMU guy in the Jeep who made sure my friend and I were OK on I-64 on the way home for spring break. From a senior girl who appreciates you taking the time to make sure fellow Dukes made it home safely. A “some-people-have-a-life” dart... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 18, 2010
A “those-aren’t-optional” dart to the girl who decided not to wear a bra to class. From a fellow feminist who believes bra burning is not the answer. A “JMU-1,-you-0” pat to the JMU employee who played “The Lion King” soundtrack from the Commons speakers, forcing Brother Micah to stop preaching. From a girl who would rather hear “Hakuna Matata.” An “always,-I-want-to-be-with-you-and-make-believe-with-you” pat to the “Robot Unicorn Attack” game on AdultSwim.com for... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 4, 2010
A “congratulations-to-both-Canada-and-the-United States” pat after the great gold-medal hockey game. From a hockey fan who’s proud to be a North American. A “cheaper-ain’t-always-better” dart to the JMU Health Center for handing out faulty condoms to students. From a possible baby daddy. An “I-hope-you-lose-all-your-brain-cells” dart to everyone who chills with Mary Jane. From a girl who thinks Mary Jane smells. A “comfortably-full-to-incredibly-overcrowded-in-3.5-years”... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,March 1, 2010
A “get-like-me” dart to E-Hall for not measuring up to my wonderful bounty. From the one, the only D-Hall. A “way-to-distract-me” dart to the picturesque mountain views from ECL. From a junior who can’t get anything done. A “zebras-don’t-change-their-stripes” dart to JMU for making second semester seniors switch to the new Live@edu e-mail system. From a senior who has a love affair with Gmail and doesn’t appreciate your interference. A “shut-up,-Snorlax” dart to my roommate... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 25, 2010
A “don’t-stand-so,-don’t-stand-so-close-to-me” dart to everyone who feels the need to be in my personal space. From a girl who learned in elementary school to give people a little elbow room. A “do-you-own-jeans?” dart to the girl who hasn’t worn anything but leggings since she was born. From a girl who has to have a toga party just for you to wear something different. A “have-my-babies” pat to Shaun White. From a girl who wants my children to be just as talented and as ginger... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 22, 2010
An “anything-but-perfect” dart to Hellhole38 for defining perfected college living as a location in the boondocks and permanently icy, snow-covered sidewalks. From a North 38 resident who was fooled by your false promises and free cookies. A “riff-raff-street-rat” pat to my boyfriend for being my own personal Aladdin. From your blonde-haired, green-eyed Jasmine. A “stop-leaving-me-passive-aggressive-notes” dart to my roommates, in response to their “I love yous” and “thanks for... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 18, 2010
A “you’re-almost-as-scary-as-the-furnace-in-`Home-Alone’” dart to my refrigerator’s creepy sounding ice maker. From a Kevin-like girl who is afraid to enter her kitchen. A “what-is-this?-a-center-for-ants?” dart to the biology professor who makes us print off PowerPoint slides with teeny words and charts. From a student who can’t read good and wants to learn to do other stuff good, too. A “stop-punching-my-face” dart to my roommate. From someone who doesn’t like the new... Read more »
Darts & Pats
By Darts & Pats,February 15, 2010
A “look-on-the-bright-side-once-in-a-while” dart to Negative Nancy for spreading her darkness upon so many college students. From someone who looks at the glass half full. An “oh-hai!-praise-ceiling-cat-kthxbai” pat to the LOLCat Bible for giving us words to live by and cheezburgers all in one. From all teh snowed in kittehs who liek to reed bout teh beginnens of teh Urfs and teh Nointed Cat and stuffs. An “I-don’t-think-Facebook-is-your-problem” dart to the guys in the locker room... Read more »
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September 2th, 2010 Issue in Print
