A Fond Farewell
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeApril 29, 2010
I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do here. This is my farewell article and I know that as soon as it’s printed, I will never write for The Breeze again. This makes me very sad, so I think I’m just going to skip my finals and stay here forever. Isn’t that great news? I’ll just stay in college forever and never grow up! I’ll just be that creepy guy in his mid-20s who’s still going to college parties; it won’t be weird at all. All jokes aside, going to JMU has been the best... Read more »
Let’s Get Blocked Out
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeApril 8, 2010
Having recently experienced one of the harshest winters of our lifetime, I think we can all agree that the recent shift to the inviting temperatures of spring is well-deserved. It was nice when the onslaught of snow gave us the rare opportunity to miss class without having to fabricate tales of extreme dysentery through e-mail to our professors five minutes before class, but I’m glad those days have passed. The sun is shining and the birds are chirping, and what better way to celebrate the pleasantries... Read more »
Embrace LarriCare
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeMarch 25, 2010
Well freedom, it was nice knowing you. With the passage of the health care reform bill, it’s pretty clear that the Apocalypse is right around the corner, and the world is going to end in a fiery blaze of socialized medicine. Dinosaurs will emerge from the Earth, and Obama will be named the Socialist Emperor of All Mankind on his perch atop a Tyrannosaurus rex. It’s time to pack up and head to Canada, a place where its leader doesn’t hate freedom, and health care is … it’s free there too?... Read more »
Impending Doom of Senioritis
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeMarch 1, 2010
With spring break less than a week away, the reality that I’m actually going to graduate from college in May is starting to set in. Because I usually tend to avoid the challenges life sets in front of me for as long as possible, I’ve developed an acute case of senioritis. This is a very different case than the one we all experienced during our senior year of high school. That one occurred because you were moving on to what people told you would be the best time of your life: college — a magical... Read more »
Turn Off That Racket!
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeFebruary 22, 2010
Being the responsible consumer that I am, I’m a strong believer that a product should be surrounded by a strong and clever advertising campaign that has nothing to do with the product itself. It’s none of my concern if the product is practical or even functional. I just require that the commercial entertains me, and I’ll purchase whatever it is you’re trying to sell me, especially if it’s that Big Top Cupcake contraption that makes cupcakes 25 times bigger than your average one, putting... Read more »
Dear Sarah, Can We Watch the Russians From Your House?
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeFebruary 12, 2010
Hey, it’s me. I know you said to never write or call you, but I just can’t help myself. There’s just something about you that makes me feel alive, like everything’s going to be all right. Maybe it’s those glasses or that look in your eye when you made me shoot that moose, or the way you laughed when I cried hysterically after I did. I just can’t put my finger on it. After the 2008 election, I was scared I’d never see you again. After everyone said you were the worst possible... Read more »
Just Call Me Cupid!
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeFebruary 8, 2010
For most of us, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of the beauty that love can bring and a nice excuse to show that special someone you really care. For the rest of you, it’s a reminder of how lonely and pathetic your life really is. You’re probably saying to yourself, “I hate Valentine’s Day.” I bet you do; I’d hate something too if it reminded me of the fact that no one cares about me. You’ve probably told yourself you want to be single so you can enjoy some freedom, but you’re... Read more »
The Super Bowl: It’s The American Way
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeFebruary 1, 2010
Many people believe baseball is America’s past time, but I beg to differ. While professional soccer players pretend they severed their leg every five seconds and baseball fans act like the sport is just as exciting now as it was when Barry Bonds and José Canseco were injecting themselves with anabolic entertainment enhancers, football has remained as compelling as it ever was, despite the fact you have to wear protection to even look at the quarterback. Sorry baseball fans, but I was more... Read more »
From Jersey, With Love
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeJanuary 25, 2010
Ever so often, there’s a show that really sweeps America off its feet and spoons with it in the night. During a time of economic frustration and general despair, we needed a sign that the worst was over and things were going to be OK. Then, when it seemed like that day would never come, MTV planted a seed of hope; a show that would let the people of this great country know it was OK to love again: the “Jersey Shore.” Now, I’m not going to say the cast of the show is the spiritual embodiment... Read more »
Decade Reflections
By Michael Larrick, The BreezeJanuary 14, 2010
I used to think the New Year was much ado about nothing. Maybe it was just me, but I didn’t believe celebrating the loss of the precious time we have left is appropriate behavior. I thought we should have focused all of our time and energy on creating a time machine rather than drinking champagne, kissing and watching the ball drop. We’re going to die someday, and all you all are doing is counting. The only thing you should be counting to is 1.21 gigawatts. However, this year was different.... Read more »
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September 2th, 2010 Issue in Print
